A little air
by taka003
Summary: Hakkai struggles to accept what Gojyo is so willing to give.


"Too fucking hot

"Too fucking hot." Gojyo grumbled halfheartedly. '_Even Hakkai is stripped to his boxers and laying on top of his bed.' _ He thought looking over at the skinny brunet on the other bed.

The healer was flat on his back trying to catch what breeze the small window provided. "I have to agree with you Gojyo. At least the wind is picking up." He sounded tired, but was unable to rest because of the temperature.

"Like I can feel it from here." He sighed and rolled to his stomach. His long red hair stuck to the back of his neck and face.

"Then come here, I'll scoot over." Hakkai moved and patted the bed.

"I'm totally sweaty and stinky man." The kappa stepped the few paces and sat down on the edge.

"It's alright, I'm sure I am as well even if I did shower a few hours ago." He smiled warmly and lifted his leg to rest his heel on the low window ledge.

Gojyo eyed his friend's exposed thigh. '_If he moves too much I may get a free peep show.' _ He chuckled at the thought.

"Better?" Hakkai had his green eyes shut enjoying the small relief. The bed dipped with Gojyo's weight and his companion eased onto the bed and got comfortable.

"Yeah, should have fought a little harder to get this bed in the first place." He poked Hakkai in the ribs.

"That reminds me of the summers while I was at the orphanage." His voice was thoughtful.

Gojyo only knew a few things about Hakkai's life as a child. He rarely spoke of it and the kappa was curious, so he lay still waiting for Hakkai to continue.

"During the really hot nights the other boys would fight for the beds closest to the window. The older or stronger boys wrestled the others into submission and then either arm wrestled or flipped a coin to determine the winner between the bullies." Hakkai rested his hands over his scar and sighed.

"You ever get to be by the window?" Gojyo rolled to his side resting his head on his hand. He noticed his friend's protective gesture.

"No, I wasn't even liked enough for them to notice me. Most of the other children avoided me." He shrugged and looked over at Gojyo. "It was better that way in the long run."

"You've always been alone haven't you? I may have had a crazy step-mom, but at least I had Jien. You didn't have anyone...I mean well except when…" He winced not wanting to bring up 'her' again and have Hakkai in a shitty mood for a week.

"When I found Kanan? It's ok Gojyo; I've been making peace with her." He rolled over to face his friend. His gaze held the kappa in place. "I know I failed her and I have to live with that, but I also have to live for myself if I want to atone for my crimes."

"Fuck Hakkai I think you have done enough atoning...just stop alright." He reached out and grabbed Hakkai's chin in his strong fingers. Gojyo narrowed his red eyes and dared Hakkai to make him let go.

"It will never be enough Gojyo…not until I finish this mission and then I can begin to pay for what I've done."

"Didn't I tell you to stop? You have paid for your crimes, Sanzo saw to that. Besides how are you supposed to have this great Matriarchy if you are too busy playing the martyr?" Gojyo watched green eyes narrow, hiding the man's thoughts. "Don't look at me that way Kai I can never tell what you're thinking when you do that."

"Sanzo just made sure I was no longer dangerous to myself and others. Just because the Sanbushaon decreed Gouno dead, really didn't make things right in my heart." Hakkai pulled out of Gojyo's grip and lay back on the pillows.

"Fuck Hakkai, you are such a masochistic bastard. Just forget about all that shit…you are a free man, you start acting like one." He leaned over his friend.

"Oh and you are one to talk Sha Gojyo. If I remember correctly, you are the one that can't let go. You're stuck so far in the past, you run to any woman that will help you forget." Hakkai said calmly but his voice was full of cold fury.

Gojyo stood up and then launched himself at the youkai. "I….you motherfucker." He pinned Hakkai to the bed with a knee to his stomach and reached down to wrap his battle rough fingers around a pale throat. "I should beat the shit out of you."

"If it will make you feel better Gojyo I won't stop you." He kept his voice low and calm.

"Of course you wouldn't...you probably think you deserve it or some fucked up shit like that." Gojyo eased his knee out of Hakkai's stomach and sat down on his friend. He folded his long arms over his chest and scowled at the healer. All the anger had left him and he sighed. "Don't make me do stupid shit like that man, I hate fighting with you."

"I'm sorry Gojyo; I wasn't trying to start a fight. I guess recent events have just made me a little uneasy and forced me to think about things I assumed I had a grip on." Hakkai shifted under the kappa's weight.

"Naw...don't worry, it's true I know, but a guy just hates to hear it." He gave Hakkai a weak smile. "Dude stop wiggling you're hip bone is poking my ass."

Hakkai blushed. "Ah...yes sorry maybe you should move."

The kappa sat looking down at Hakkai for a minute. Gojyo raised his eyebrow. "You're getting off on this aren't you? You hentai bastard...starting a fight just to get me riled knowing I would have to kick your ass." His voice had a lustful teasing tone to it.

"I did no such thing, beside you started it by jumping on me." Hakkai pushed Gojyo back and rolled onto his stomach. "Now just lay still and cool off, a bit of air and you will be fine."

The red head sat up and leaned against the headboard. "Yeah whatever you say, but I could think of something better to do."

"I'm sure you could, but you are not going to with me." Hakkai took a deep breath and tried to will his erection away.

"Well that's no fun, suppose I'll have to go bother Sanzo now." Gojyo teased.

"Please don't, I like your head attached to your shoulders." Hakkai turned his eyes towards his friend.

"I was just kidding, that bastard is a hottie, but I'm not stupid." The kappa poked Hakkai's shoulder. "You're looking at me weird again."

"I just never imagined that you would have any interest in men. You have always been stead fast in your womanizing ways. Is the journey getting to you Gojyo?" He cocked his head.

"Must be or I'm just really horny." He eased back down on the bed. "And from what I felt a moment or two ago so are you." Gojyo raised his eyebrow.

"You must surely be mistaken." Hakkai looked away. "The limiters remember? Helps keep things in check."

Gojyo ghosted his fingers over Hakkai's bare back making the slender man shiver. "So if I do this you feel nothing?" He moved them up into chestnut hair. "And if I tease the back of your neck you have no desire to touch back?"

"Gojyo that is not playing fair. Simple human touch causes reactions regardless of conscience thought." Hakkai had closed his eyes again.

"Just sounds like a bunch of big words to me." He moved swiftly and sat on Hakkai's ass. '_Let's just see how far I can push him.' _

"Hey now Gojyo, I said I ….ah….ok stop." His voice changed to scolding to a whisper.

Gojyo bent his head letting his hair tickle the pale skin, just before his tongue flicked over the sharp shoulder blade. "Stop teasing?"

Hakkai felt the surge of desire again and bit his lower lip. "No…just…ah Gojyo please."

The taller man stretched out and nipped at Hakkai's shoulder and back of his neck causing the healer to whimper softly. "Can't stop now that I know you make such cute noises." He smirked and continued his torture.

"I do not make cute noises." The youkai squirmed trying to get away from Gojyo.

"Better than the women I bed." He skimmed his palms down Hakkai's ribs.

"Like I want to think of all your conquests right now Gojyo." Hakkai managed to push his friend off. He tumbled from the bed and stood panting slightly. "I really think your joke has gone on long enough." He reached for his jeans and pulled them on.

"I'm serious man." Gojyo narrowed his eyes. "You think I would joke about something like this?"

"I don't know…I need to think." He rushed out of the room leaving the red head stunned on the bed.

"Well fuck me sideways." He grumbled. 'What the hell happened?"

Hakkai ran into the small garden behind the inn. He bent over with his hands on his knees catching his breath. It took several moments and many deep breathes before he was able to calm himself. He found a quiet place to sit and think. "Does he think it's that easy to get me in his bed…not that I mind do I? I just don't know...how am I supposed to keep my promise to Kannan, Sanzo or to myself for that matter." He shook his head and gazed up at the night sky. "Stupid..stupid kappa."

"Hey that's not nice buddy."

"Gojyo, sorry." He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at the man.

Gojyo sat down and lit a cigarette. "Look I'm sorry I pushed ok, I never meant it to go that far alright?"

Hakkai gazed at the stars. "I understand, really I do. You have been without female company for too long and that can make a man do foolish thing."

He let out a stream of smoke and chuckled. "I guess so. Let's just forget about it ok? The fight, me wanting you, the feel of your skin and you running away." He let the words trail away with the smoke.

"I didn't run away, I just needed space to think." Hakkai fussed. He looked over into red eyes. "You are serious about wanting me? Why?"

"Fuck, like you don't know." He stubbed out his smoke.

"I really didn't, but it's not a good idea Gojyo." Hakkai's voice was tinted with regret.

"Yeah whatever, never been smart when it comes to trying to get people to love me." He tossed a rock and stood. "I'll leave you to your thoughts."

"No, please stay. It's nice out here and I don't think either of us is in any mood for sleep." He patted the grass.

"Fine, just don't sit too close might change my mind about being a gentleman." Gojyo stretched out and sighed.

Hakkai realized his friend just admitted deep feelings for him. His heart beat a little faster and his mouth went dry. '_Oh my, this is not good. .there is no real gentle way of letting him down. I can't let this happen. Gojyo is too vulnerable to rejection…I don't want to hurt him, but if I let myself give in, but I want to. I want to feel the warmth of his body and what it feels like to be loved completely.' _Hakkai fussed with the hem of his jeans as he sat cross legged.

"If you don't stop, I'll find something else to occupy your mind." Gojyo winked.

"Sorry Gojyo." A light blush crept across his cheeks.

"Don't be, I can tell by your face you're thinking something heavy duty." He stood and brushed the grass off his shorts. "I think I could sleep now how about you?"

"I hope so." He followed the kappa back across the lawn. "Wait you have grass on your back."

Gojyo stood still while Hakkai plucked off a few blades. "Goodness, hold still." He brushed hard and sent the rest to the ground. Then he blew down the middle of Gojyo's back to free him from the small pieces.

"Whoa now." He turned and embraced his friend. His features were set in a serious manner. "That was too much Kai…damn it do we have to forget about earlier..I fucking want you."

Hakkai froze. "Gojyo..I don't know what to say..I..it's probably not the best idea to do this n.."

His words were cut off with a demanding, but gentle kiss. Gojyo used the other man's shock to deepen the kiss and pull the slender body to his. He leaned back and looked into green eyes. "You think too much. Now stop thinking about the what ifs and just let me make you feel good."

"Gojyo...how did we go from talking, to arguing, to sex?" Hakkai was still stiff in the man's arms, but stopped resisting.

"No idea. Don't really care right now though….are you going to let me continue?" Gojyo nuzzled the side of Hakkai's neck, flicking his tongue along the pale flesh.

"If it will help you relax, you have been tense lately without the company of a beautiful woman and that affects your fighting." Green eyes closed while Gojyo teased his skin.

"You really think that don't you? Fuck I haven't had a woman in months and honestly don't really care. Every time I try to get one back to my bed I make the mistake of looking at her eye color and it's the wrong one." He stepped back and prepared to leave after such an admission.

Hakkai's thoughts rattled about in his mind. His earlier resolve was trying to unravel as well as his tightly held passion. "I …I don't think we should. As much as it pains me, I should turn down your offer. I can not be trusted."

"Trusted? Shit Hakkai I trust you with my life. Is that what's stopping you?" Gojyo stepped back and looked deep into Hakkai's eyes. "Don't start with the youkai bullshit or the dangerous killer crap either, because I don't give a flying fuck. I saw first hand your crazy skills and sure it scared the shit out of me, but it also made me think." As he spoke his fingers were traveling up Hakkai's arm and into his hair.

The healer relaxed his shoulders and let Gojyo play with his hair. "Think of what? That I was crazed fool, too set on blood lust to stop the slaughter?"

"No..No I thought about how lucky I was to have a friend that would risk that much for a looser like me." The kappa looped an arm around Hakkai's waist and pressed their bare chests together.

"You are not a looser Gojyo." Hakkai said firmly letting Gojyo lower him to the grass.

"And you are not a crazed killer, scary motherfucker true but I like a bit of danger." He positioned himself so he was face to face with his friend.

"And yet you still try to convince me that you want to get involved with a man like me." Hakkai reached out a tentative hand and curled Gojyo's hair around his fingers. "I've made so many promises to myself not to love again."

"Hell I'm already involved, just not in your bed yet." He brought the slender fingers to his mouth and licked a knuckle.

"Yet..that's the key word. I don't want to hurt you Gojyo, that's why I can't turn you away." He wet his lips as he watched the kappa continue the torment of his fingers.

"Do you trust me?" Gojyo whispered.

"Absolutely." Hakkai whispered back.


End file.
